This is a tailored version of an email we recently received from a client who got it from a website design company that were sending out lots of emails to website owners hoping to persuade them that their website needs some SEO attention. Check our normal sarcastic comments in bold.
I’ve made a few notes about your website [no you haven’t] and I have some feedback about your site that might be useful to you.  I work for [a website design company] (you might have heard of us [only heard bad things I am afraid], we are an award winning, low cost website design and promotion company that’s just had it’s 15th birthday [why is your website only 8 years old then?]  and is probably the most recommended web services company in the UK [no your not]).  I’ve noted down some important things as I looked at your site. I see you have Google analytics installed, which is excellent, but there are lots of things I would recommend you do to increase the number of visitors that find you in Google. If you’d like a copy of the official Google SEO (search engine optimisation) guide that we normally only send out to clients [even though its not your product and its free to anyone] I’d be happy to ping you back a copy. Alternatively do a google search for “optimising my website for google” and you’ll find all the details you need.
If you are interested in hearing how I think you can improve your website to get a lot more out of it for relatively little cost, drop me a line back and I’ll go through the notes I made.
Complimentary Competitor Analysis:
If you like I can analyse your competitors with our in-house designed software which will give you an instant insight into how easy it would be for you to achieve a dramatic increase in website visitors, and a matching increase in your business. I can tell you a few sneaky facts about your competitors and see how many people are searching Google for exactly what you do. No charge, just be interesting to see!
I wish you every success with your website

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