More SEO email rubbish

Received this email recently via a client, please be aware that there are no such things as guarantees when it comes to website optimisation (SEO), so if you get an email like the one below (without our sarcastic comments) then feel free to delete it without a care.
I reviewed your site & thought to approach you [delicious: so you havent bulk mailed thousands of email addresses with the same email?]. I am confident in getting your site on top of Google for following keywords and phrases. [delicious: really? so you know the site inside and out and have examined my current and future SEO plans?]
[delicious: there now follows a list of very competitive and ‘desirable’ and competitive search terms]
Once these keywords are on top, [delicious: confident we like it] we can go on targeting more and more keywords for the site. In the first month itself you will see my performance in the ranking report. [delicious: wow im so impressed a promise of a one month improvement, what if Google doesnt re-visit my site within that time?] If you see that I have improved your rankings then let me go second month or fire me. [delicious: we think its more likely you will make a lame excuse about your lack of progress and ask for another month or two to ‘see what I can do to get you to the top of Google’}
I can do further research and tell you where your site ranks right now for these keywords. However, I would like to know if at all £100/month falls in your budget. So you get all the real human and experienced efforts for doing SEO for your website. [delicious: didnt expect you to do any research before we replied of course, so we pay you £100 for you to do nothing mmm let me see NO THANKS]
SEO is nothing but a hard work and requires lot of time to do many time consuming SEO tasks – that you dont have time to do all by yourself. [delicious: yes SEO is not easy, how do you know I dont have time to promote my webiste myself?] Please let me know, if I could be of any further questions. I hope to hear from you soon.[delicious: dont hold your breath here bud]
P.S I will only work with one firm in your industry, make sure it’s not your competitor. It’s first come first served, so email today. [delicious: actually I would love you to work for the competition]